


The Bathroom

by 100dabbo



Series: Two Reasonable Members of Society [1]
Category: Withnail & I (1986)
Genre: Bathrooms, Cigarettes, Established Relationship, Facial Shaving, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21845776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100dabbo/pseuds/100dabbo
Summary: Withnail needs assistance in shaving.
Relationships: Peter Marwood/Withnail
Series: Two Reasonable Members of Society [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576072
Kudos: 28





	The Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cattycat1310](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattycat1310/gifts).



Withnail’s hands were trembling, body submerged in the bath, still shivering despite the scalding water. Or maybe he just had the shakes.

“ _Help me!_ ” He shouted, his voice nearly a _screech_ it was that loud. Marwood was in the living room and didn’t respond. To be fair, he was the floor above. Withnail repeated his scream, “ _Fucking help me!_ ”

The other man finally came bolting down the stairs, panting as he burst through the door,

“What?! What is it Withnail?!” There was a certain panic in his voice, a genuine concern for the man’s wellbeing. Though, knowing his dramatic tendencies, he should’ve known not to trust these attention seeking screams.

“Look at this!” Withnail held his hand out flat, his digits quivering uncontrollably, “Fucking _look_ at this!” Marwood sat beside the tub and shook his head,

“Yeah, alright?”

“Alright?! _All – fucking – right?!_ ” Withnail screeched, “I’m having a fucking earthquake in my tendons! Oh, God, this can’t be good, not good at all!” He lamented in a high-pitched wail as his trembling hands reached for his pre-rolled cigarettes. He placed one between his teeth, his companion retrieving his matches to light the end for him, and he took a long draw, exhaling through his nose before commanding, “Get the fucking razor! Now!”

“What?” Marwood laughed, eyes fixed on the man’s shaking fists, “Why?”

“ _This_ is fucking why!” With quivering hands, he gestured to his face; the barest note of stubble poking through his skin, “Simply unacceptable; I look like a fucking bum!” His bloodshot eyes strained on Marwood, the confused man still not moving from his seat. Withnail grit his teeth, “You don’t expect me to shave myself, do you?! I’ll slit my fucking throat!”

“For fuck’s sake, Withnail, calm the fuck down!” Marwood retorted, standing up to get the one and only razor they both shared from the sink across the room. The other man sank down into the tub, shrinking below the water line to wet his face once more, his hands continuing to tremble as he made a grab for the soap, slipping it onto his palms and slapping it on his cheeks. 

Marwood returned to the side of the basin, looking at the other man’s chest, his heart visibly pounding rapidly inside his ribs. Maybe it was about to explode; that eccentric bastard always found some reason or other to get excited. He gently rested his fingers on Withnail’s jaw, tilting it up to reach the tender skin of his neck. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Haven’t we any shaving foam?”

“Bastards at the shops ran out.” He said pessimistically, neck still craned and cigarette dangling between his lips. His eyes closed as he waited for his companion to begin.

He set the razor against the wet skin and dragged up, gently shaving off those inconvenient hairs that had only just emerged, then dipped it in the water to take off the excess soap. He went back up for another stroke up his neck to remove the hair, though with his swooping motion upwards, he nicked the skin slightly.

“Fucking bastard!” Withnail cried, holding a shaking hand to the fine cut, pressing down as if he was profusely bleeding. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and held it between his shaking fingers.

“Stop being such a wimp, Withnail, you’re fine!” Marwood reasoned, putting the razor down on the side of the bath in defeat.

“How _dare_ you!” He bellowed dramatically, life was a fucking stage for that one, “This is abuse!” His eyes followed Marwood’s hand as he placed the razor down, and then as he stood up with a sigh to leave the room, "Where the fuck are you going?!”

“Back upstairs.”

“I can’t walk around with half a shaven face! They’ll think I’m a fucking wanker!” He pleaded, true terror in his eyes, and although didn’t specify who ‘they’ were, the effect was still enough to stop Marwood from leaving. He sat back down and took the blade back up into his hand. “Thank you.” Withnail said indignantly, returning the cigarette to his mouth and craning his own neck to give space for the razor to remove the unwanted hair. Marwood swept it along his cheek, pretty much no hair to be removed at all, but did it anyway to get the bastard to shut up for once.

“There. Done.” Marwood said, setting the razor back down with finality. He sighed, but didn’t get up, and instead looked into Withnail’s eyes. He smirked, his beautiful lips stretching wide at his eccentric companion. When Withnail glanced up to see him looking so enamoured, he bit his tongue to supress his own smile.

“The fuck are you looking at? Have you cocked it up or something?” He felt at his face for any roughness, quivering fingertips quickly passing over the skin.

“I’m looking at you, Withnail.”

“Of course you’re fucking looking at me,” He said, reclining into the tub and letting his shaking hands sink down with him, “I want to know _why_.” He pronounced the ‘h’ with a flamboyant hiss, closing his eyes as he rested his head back.

“Because I like to.” He disputed, still not getting up. Before, he was annoyed; now, he was thankful. Withnail’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, gesturing to Marwood’s face with the cigarette,

“I’ll tell you what, you fucker, I-“

Marwood cut of his ramblings with a kiss, hard and strong, grasping to his jaw to pull him closer, both men closing their eyes as their lips pressed against each other’s in gentle movements. It intensified as Withnail pushed against them harder, moving his head to get a better angle, getting his tongue involved too. Marwood softly groaned against his mouth, both hands now either side of the other man’s slender face, fingers brushing on his cheekbones.

They eventually pulled away, Withnail’s fingers still trembling with their hold on the cigarette, which was precariously trapped between his index and middle, the ash falling into the bath and floating on the surface. He swallowed and stared back at Marwood; lips parted.

“Shit,” He said laconically, resting back into the tub as he took another draw from the cigarette, “Well, that was rather good, I thought. Who knew you had it in you to shut me up, you cheeky fucker.” Marwood laughed and put his hand back onto Withnail’s face, turning his jaw to return eye contact,

“Anything else you want me to do?” Marwood asked, his contented grin still etched into his face.

“Yes,” The other man said, taking a contemplative drag out of the cigarette with closed lids, “But not here, or now. Later.”

“Later?” His companion repeated, a glint of curiosity in his eyes.

“Yes, now fuck off while I take my bath.” Withnail said, words slightly muffled with the cigarette between his lips. He looked to Marwood again and smiled, his bloodshot eyes seeming a little more calm than before.

“All – fucking – right then.”


End file.
